We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
