you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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