Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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