she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
