i may or may not be watching the land before time
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dick very happy bro
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
