he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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