The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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