I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
