Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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