idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
