yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
