too bad you live with your parents still
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
