So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
