She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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