It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
