He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
