Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
