I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
