My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
