I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
