And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
