We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
