I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
