I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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