Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
