I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
