I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Fuck appropriateness.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize