i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
