this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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