fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
