Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize