I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
