my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
