What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
