Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
