you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
