He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
