Where did you get a picture of my penis
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can text with my tongue
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
