Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
