I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize