At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
