how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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