I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
