Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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