id be glad to
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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