ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
