I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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