scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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