it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
