She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
