Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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