Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
only you would photoshop your dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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