I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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