soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
