well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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