Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize