I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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