bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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